Animal April Fool's

Most of the animal-themed April Fool's jokes this year play on   our overwhelming desire to befriend, understand and get close to our animals.

Michigan's State-Sponsored Canned Deer Hunts
The Detroit Free Press was the boldest and funniest, with a plan to corral Michigan's 1.7 million deer and allow canned hunts in an effort to prevent bovine tuberculosis. "Hunters could drive to any of the eight or 10 state deer ranches after breakfast -- no more need to get up before dawn -- and be in a stand by noon. It shouldn't take more than an hour to shoot the deer and get home in time to watch the football game," a bogus biologist said. State financial crisis? Solved!



Google Translate for Animals
Google gave us a bit of wish fulfillment with Google Translate for Animals, which comes just its only marginally less amazing program to translate a ton of human languages. Hold your Google Android up to an animal and finally get to understand what they're saying. Their demonstration animals were all mushy, only offering compliments and affection. I'd have liked to see more opinionated animals, critiquing outfits, their food, their human handlers.

Montana State Flower
An outdoors writer for the Billings Gazette wrote about a  proposal to recycle all those obsolete, giant satellite dishes at camp sites, providing both shade and some controversial outdoor television enterntainment.

Nanaimo Non-Mermaid
The poor folks at the Nanaimo News on Vancouver Island no longer have a prank story about a mermaid sighting on their website. All they have is this pathetic explanation "for those who missed the clues" that wends its way to the serious point behind it all..."pollution is no laughing matter"...blah, blah, blah. This kind of thing--along with all the other hacky, humorless stories out today bemoaning that offshore oil drilling or whatever sounds like an April Fool's joke but it's serious--is exactly what gives animal lovers and environmentalists a bad name.

Who's Your Emperor Now, Mr. Penguin?
Animals make a natural subject for April Fool's Day pranks. Or so says the Museum of Hoaxes, a hoax authority quoted by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, though they count such innanities as calling the zoo and asking for Mr. Lion and such. Occassionally a prankster will hoax an animal, like Tokyo Ueno Zoo did in 2005, putting human emperor penguins in their place with a human-sized overlord.



Where to Go to See Weird Animals

Wolf Parks Jump on the Twilight: New Moon Bandwagon

Wolf at Longleat Captivated by Twilight New Moon

The wolves at Longleat Safari Park in England were impressed with the realism of Twilight: New Moon. At a special showing in the their park west of London, they paid attention to the wolf scenes and howled back, the Telegraph reports. They're just the latest tie-in wolf parks are making with the vampire movie.

Sure, the whole "World Wolf Premiere" thing is a ploy for the DVD release. “Whilst we're used to deafening screams for Robert Pattinson, it's a nice change to hear howls of approval for the rest of the cast, including the screen wolves themselves," one movie promoter said. 

But at least the wolves were entertained. Or enriched, as animal care people say. They circled the giant screen pulled by a semi, making sure it wasn't a predator about to attack. Then they started watching and sometimes howling. "They seem to be really keen on the wolf bits," Ian Turner, the park’s deputy head warden said.



The folks at Indiana's Wolf Park were way ahead of the Brits. In January they hosted a special night for Twilight fans, who learned the differences between real wolves and those hunks in the film.

As every hack journalist knows, you need three events to make a trend, so here you go. Turns out the animators for the movie got their accuracy on by hanging out at Wolf Mountain Sanctuary in California. "They all climbed into a 40ft pen with the wolves and spent the afternoon feeding, touching and walking around with the wolves, observing wolf behaviour first hand," Digital Media World reports. The wolves at this sanctuary outside San Beradino aren't wild of course; the sanctuary, founded in 1980, has 17 wolves rescued from private homes or the movie industry. The center allows some very close contact with wolves. If you want to see the wolves Twilight makers learned from and help out a sanctuary in financial distress--you can visit. It's $20 for an hour tour, $120 for an all-day visit. Now that would be the ultimate Twilight fan experience.


See if there's a wolf preserve near you

A Whale Wars Horror Flick: Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre

We've seen the battle between whalers and whale-watchers turned into a reality TV hit in Whale Wars; now it's moving to the horror film genre. Iceland's Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre features whale watchers cast adrift at sea who are preyed upon by rogue whalers.

You'd think Iceland--where whaling and defying international opinion--are considered almost a patriotic duty, would produce a film with  the Sea Shepherd crew on the rampage. But this film seems to be, dare I say it, more subtle. The family of whalers has gone mad--after they aren't allowed to hunt whales anymore. The trailer shows the whalers shooting harpoons at someone in the water. And the tourist cries out, "No! Please! I'm a friend of nature! No! Argghh!" So, the tourists pretty much had it coming. I'd want to harpoon anybody who said that.

I haven't had access to the film, which played at the Glasgow Film Festival in February and is set to be released in the UK on DVD soon. The MonstersandCritics blog horror fan pans it as "just another average horror film with various characters being pitted against a family of psychotic whale hunters." But I'm glad to see the whale issue now playing out in pop culture. Hey, every movie can't be The Cove.

Where to Go to See Whales

Where to Watch Animals in Europe

Spoiler Alert: Don't Dread The Ending in Koontz's Dog Biography

Why didn't anybody tell me that Dean Koontz  after my dog is such a big animal advocate? My sister Karen gave me his book A Big, Little Life after my dog Jolly died. I dreaded reading it, knowing that all dog stories have sad endings. What I didn't expect was that it was both a delightful biography of an exceptional dog, Trixie Koontz, and an aggressive argument for the case that animals are mysterious, wondrous creatures worthy of respect and compassion.

Yes, this novel is just more anecdotal evidence that dogs have complex minds and spirits and not just motivated to eat and survive like some kind of algae. I'm tired of hearing about how animal lovers anthropomorphize from people who would have us believe dogs are closer to corn stalks than to humans. They overlook the vast sums of evidence to the contrary and as Koontz succinctly derides them, are "invariably dogless."

Koontz once included a description of a guide dog from Canine Companions for Independence in book Midnight. The group reached out to him and he and his wife started visiting and supporting the place. Finally they adopted Trixie, who had to cut her guiding career short because of a bad knee. Any guide dog is exceptional--the human equivalent of a PhD--but Koontz delighted in Trixie's spiritual as well as intellectual strength. While sick in the hospital, Trixie visited the cages of other animals in distress. Like many dogs, she was a discerning judge of character, both human and canine. She mourned the passing of friends and, Koontz argues, knew she was about to die and accepted her death with grace.

Once into the book I enjoyed hearing about Trixie and knew I didn't have to fear the ending and the grief it would re-open. The Koontz's even suffered through the nightmare of an emergency splenectomy, the same scary procedure my Jolly had. Like the Koontz family, my husband and I thought it was our most excruciating time with Jolly--far worse than his eventual death. Although losing Trixie was a thumping blow to the Koontz family, the book wasn't about the horror of that loss--much to my relief. Instead it was about all the spiritual gifts Trixie gave him. I think that's the legacy Trixie and Jolly would surely prefer. 

Where to See Goofy Dog Events 

Q & A With Endangered Species Artists

Lots of environmental causes give gifts when you make a donation. But how many eco totes do you really need? A couple of clever Chicago artists, Jenny Kendler, and Molly Schafer, have devised a new way to help the environment: the Endangered Species Print Project. They create a limited edition art print of a criticially endangered species. You buy it for $50. They give all the money to an organization that protects the species you'll see on your wall. 

The organizations they're helping are so tiny (like the populations they serve) that they don't have the slick fund-raising apparatus that supplies thank you gifts. So Kendler and Schafer effectively stepped in and offered the groups both publicity and donations--plus charming portraits of their animals.

Here's how they describe it:

The Endangered Species Print Project offers limited-edition art prints of critically endangered species. The number of prints available corresponds with the remaining animal or plant populations. For example, only 45 Amur Leopards remain in the wild, so for this edition, only 45 prints will ever be made. A different organization, whose mission is to the ensure the survival of the species depicted, is chosen for each print. 100% of the sales of ESPP prints are donated to these conservation organizations. You can check out the ESPP site at http://endangeredspeciesprintproject.com, and don't forget to peep our blog, which is full of amazing endangered species facts and news.

ESPP is an art project and labor of love is run by myself, Jenny Kendler, and my friend and fellow-artist Molly Schafer. Our personal work can be seen at http://jennykendler.com and http://mollyschafer.com

The artists recently did a Q&A with us:
When did you start the project?

ESPP officially launched in the summer of 2009, but Molly and I had been working on the idea and all the start-up details for about a year prior to that.

How did you pick which animals and groups to include?

We choose species for ESPP that are critically endangered, and that have a conservation organization working on their situations, which the print can support. We pick species that we think have an interesting story that we think will capture people's attention, and concentrate on one's where peoples' donations can make a difference. It's hard to choose sometimes, because there are, sadly, so many species out there under threat. People have been treating the planet pretty recklessly for some time, and thousands of species are at risk or extinction. Molly and I have long lists of other species that will eventually be ESPP prints, as this is a long-term project for us --- so keep your eyes peeled for more prints!

Have you seen any of these animals in the wild?

I have not, actually -- though I have seen an Amur leopard in captivity, which was sad, since it just paced its cage. I can only imagine how breathtaking it would be to see one in its wild habitat! Because many of the ESPP species are very rare, some of them are rarely seen by anyone. The Seychelles Sheath-tailed Bat, for example, lives on only one island and has a population of only 37 individuals. This means though, that donations through ESPP can have a large impact.

I know you just got started last year, but has the ESPP raised money already for the groups?

Absolutely! We have been thrilled by people's response to the project, and have raised more than $2000 already for our partnered conservation organizations --- something that we are especially proud of, since we are a small two-woman operation.

Which have been the most popular with buyers?

Oddly enough, most of the prints are neck and neck. Just when we think one is going to come out the clear favorite, we get sales of the others. People especially seem to love the Vancouver Island Marmot though, and the Panamanian Golden Frog. One must admit, they are very charming.

What's been your favorite animal-related adventure around Chicago? (I grew up in Des Plaines, so I'm especially curious if you know of any neat animals to see). What's been your favorite animal-related travel adventure?

Jenny: Okay, I think this particular animal adventure is the most fun when it's a bit of a surprise, so I will tell you where to go, but not what you'll see. Go to the forest preserve nearby the totem pole just above Belmont Harbor at sunset. The summer or fall is the best time of year. If you sit on the trail on the north side, and watch carefully, you'll get a big surprise!

Another great one is just up the Lake Shore bike trail from Belmont Harbor at the bridge that lets boats into the harbor. If you go during the spring, you can watch hundreds of gorgeous blue and copper Barn Swallows flying back and forth to their nests under the bridge.

Oh, and since I'm spilling the beans about all my favorite animal spots in Chicago, I'll also tell you that if you go to Lincoln Park near the zoo at night, you'll very often see 50+ little rabbits in an hour or so. Go in the summer and there are the cutest tiny babies.

Molly: Ahh, those are all good ones. If you are stuck in rush hour traffic on Lake Shore Drive, the swallows also zoom around the stopped cars which can be quite amazing.

I haven't had many good wild animal encounters in Chicago (I missed the mountain lion that came through 2 years ago). Once Jenny and I went to the Caldwell Woods Forest Preserve right after I had an recovered from an awful knee injury. A big buck with an old knee injury hobbled past us. At that time I was drawing a lot of deer (before everyone else did too) so it was pretty special.

But my favorite Chicago animal experience would have to be when I was sitting in the window of my Logan Square studio and a hawk flew right past, inches from my window, with a dead pigeon flopping in it's beak. Or, maybe, when I was watching two men was feed squirrels and pigeons in Wicker Park. Suddenly pigeons,squirrels, and men scattered every which way and I had to duck to avoid the pigeons. A small hawk had dive-bombed the lot of them, but he went away with empty talons.

Anything else fun or weird about the project you'd like people to know?

The most fun thing about the project for us is that it lets us indulge ourselves as artists, activists, and animal-nerds all in one project! As for weird, your readers might like to check out the ESPP Blog every Wednesday for our Endangered Strangers posts --- where we post pics and amazing facts about little known endangered species. There's also lots of amazing, and often weird, info about each species we have done a print of on our main website. For example, did you know that the Hispaniola Solenodon, who will be featured in an upcoming ESPP print, has a ball-and-socket joint in its snout?